Silly Poems – Jolthead

So sometimes when I write poems, I honestly don’t take the task very seriously. I came across an old writing prompt I wrote a poem for involving Shakespearean insults. I figured I’d post it here to break up the more serious poems that I tend to usually write. I don’t know if I’ll include it or not in a future anthology but for now I hope it entertains.

Jolthead
An earth-vexing jolthead divided by zero.
He has a B.S. in bullshit.
He counted infinity twice in a row
beslubbering each day in a snake pit.
He stood on the sun eating rat poison gum
and then crashed through the moon with a bang.
I swear he’s a dumb ass with no sense of class.
He lives up the sky down the lane.

Generic Love Poem Template

Here’s a poem I did a number of months ago. I also submitted it recently to a poetry blog if you guys want to check it out there: https://lunatheblog.com/2020/12/30/generic-love-poem-template/

Otherwise enjoy this cynical satirical piece.


Generic Love Poem Template

<Insert text about finally finding the one>

<Insert text about how you’ve never felt this way before>

<Insert text about how you get butterflies when they hold your hand, kiss you, etc.>

<Insert text about how great the sex is>

<Insert text about how you’d be devastated if they were never part of your life again>

<Insert a unique metaphor to try to come across as clever or deep>

<Insert text about how you’ve been waiting for so long>

<Insert text about how they finally make you complete>


Example:

I’ve finally found the one;

I’ve never felt like this before.

When they’re holding me in their arms

I can’t help but feel restored.

I feel butterflies in my stomach

when they’re making love to me.

Like a ship floating in the ocean

on a sea of ecstasy.

If they ever truly left me

I’d don’t know how I would go on.

It’d be like the moon without its twilight

and the sun without the dawn.

For too long I have been waiting

feeling the bitter taste of defeat,

but now I can finally say

that I truly feel complete.